Growing a family is a challenge, especially in the NFL spotlight. It requires an abundance of sacrifice, time, and tear-filled pep talks to yourself in the car. Often, my thoughts and emotions are all over the place. I can’t begin to process how people navigate living inside this space without a relationship with Christ. 

Football is what we do, not who we are. It is our platform and a job that at some point will end. When that time comes, our family will still have each other. I work to maintain proper perspective by first pursuing my relationship with Christ, then my relationships with my husband, Demario, my children, and then everything else. This has helped me establish boundaries to prevent outside distractions. Society has changed drastically in the last few decades, both inside and outside of the NFL. There are many interferences working to stand in the way of the time we could be spending with God and each other. As a family, we’re constantly reestablishing boundaries to remain intentional about our relationships in all the chaos. 

For example, during the season, my husband and I have a weekly date night, and commit to an hour daily of heartfelt conversation before bed. As a family, we spend at least 15 minutes together in the mornings and evenings. Some ways we like to do that are by having the kids hang out in bed with us, by brushing our teeth together, or watching a worship video on YouTube. We also eat dinner together outside the house one night a week. When things become too chaotic to stay on routine, we adjust. We shut down the noise, prioritize, and pull out our Boundaries book (more about it below)! We do all this to be the best versions of ourselves for each other, our family, and our assignments.

There was a time when we felt obligated to all those activities, but that was a lose-lose situation. We quickly learned that no matter what we do, it will NEVER be enough. People have placed so many unfair expectations on us, and when those expectations aren’t met, they become angry, distant, and harsh. 

I’ll leave you with two great resources that have helped me on this path of intentionality: 

• Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
• The Power of No by Claudia Azula and James Altucher

These are two books I’ll never forget! We’ve learned to protect our energy, establish reasonable boundaries and not allow people to pressure us into things we don’t want or feel led to do! Talk about growth, especially for me! The freedom is unreal and the only expectations I’m aiming to meet these days are my Father’s. That’s all that will really matter at the end of this lifetime anyway!