Surrounding myself with people of like-minded faith has positively shaped my walk with God and how I interact with the world around me. My faith community has been instrumental in my growth, accountability, and discipleship.
These relationships with those who share my faith have exposed me to challenges and Christian models to follow and not to follow. I am constantly reminded not to become content in my walk with God because it’s an ongoing pursuit. There is no finish line in pursuing God; He’s much too big to know everything about in this lifetime. I choose to focus on seeking him more in ways that are simple and tangible for me.
There are three ways I choose to strengthen my relationship with God.
I build myself up through worship music. I feel at peace, connected to the vine (God) and in communication with Him.
I pray. Prayer is another important piece. I love being vulnerable and intimate with God. Often when I can’t put my prayers into words, I just surrender my heart, thoughts, and emotions to Him.
I read God’s word. As a busy mom of four, designating time for this is often a daily struggle. However, whether I read a scripture, full passage, or watch Superbook with my kids, I cling to the message regardless of its length or depth. These things equip me to encourage myself and others.
I’m a firm believer that your faith community should consist of someone walking above you (a spiritual mentor), next to you (an accountability partner, friend, or someone going through the same stage of life as you), and someone following you (who you are investing in or discipling who may not be a believer, or is a new believer with a ton of questions). I strive to continually grow and live accountability, while serving God and others faithfully. Having these people, who are in different stages of their faith walk, allows me to see faith in action and exercise my own faith.
By having a strong faith community, my walk with God has been changed in the best way! Even in these three little methods, I feel myself getting closer to Him daily. I know that this is a continuous journey, which is why I stress the importance of a faith community. The same way a blood related family works to build and grow, your faith community should, too.
Apologizing and extending forgiveness are extremely hard, but necessary life skills to master.
For some, apologizing is easy, and they are quick to own their mistakes and learn from them. For others, it can be challenging. As a recovering perfectionist, people pleaser, and rule follower, it’s hard for me to dismiss that I’m not always a Saint (although we play for the SAINTS).
I’m learning to apologize, even when I’m convinced it’s not my fault and forgive, even the ones I feel like don’t deserve it. This doesn’t alter boundaries I’ve established but reminds me that Christian people aren’t perfect people. Who am I to judge as God forgives me endlessly when I am undeserving? Recently, I stumbled across a post from Lysa Terkeurst that says, “Part of what makes forgiveness seem unfair is that I’m utterly convinced I’m the Saint and they are the sinner. When in reality Jesus is asking me simply to be the servant.” Ouch, this was convicting. Over the years I’ve gained the maturity and wisdom to understand that apologizing and extending forgiveness is freeing.
This freedom has translated into the way I parent. I teach my children to respect authority, individuals’ boundaries, and people in general. I also remind them that they too are due respect, despite their age. They are little humans, not doormats or robots. I work to respect my kids as full humans by stewarding and teaching them God’s truths. I strongly believe you have to display respect to receive it; respect is not based on age. I talk with my little people, apologizing and requesting forgiveness when I’m not patient, raise my voice too often, or choose discipline actions out of pure frustration, instead of clearly thinking out the punishment.
A distracted parent is a frustrated parent– and often when I’m distracted (by chores, my phone, different assignments) I don’t always display grace. When my actions unintentionally crush their little feelings, we address it! Additionally, I tell them when mommy has made a mistake in parenting, what leads to that mistake, and how we can work together to establish preventative methods. I grant them the freedom to respectfully express their thoughts and emotions. They’re very young and do not understand everything, but I’m attempting to build habits and routines now for more extreme cases in the future.
As we regularly exercise this in our home, we witness and encourage our kids to model these approaches with each other, and others they encounter. This method, in my opinion, creates less space for nurturing grudges and anger. Parenting is hard and the weight of responsibility makes me doubt myself at times. Establish these principles in your home and the changes you’ll see in your family. God always grants me grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love, and I then make a conscious effort to grant those exact same things to my family daily.
Growing a family is a challenge, especially in the NFL spotlight. It requires an abundance of sacrifice, time, and tear-filled pep talks to yourself in the car. Often, my thoughts and emotions are all over the place. I can’t begin to process how people navigate living inside this space without a relationship with Christ.
Football is what we do, not who we are. It is our platform and a job that at some point will end. When that time comes, our family will still have each other. I work to maintain proper perspective by first pursuing my relationship with Christ, then my relationships with my husband, Demario, my children, and then everything else. This has helped me establish boundaries to prevent outside distractions. Society has changed drastically in the last few decades, both inside and outside of the NFL. There are many interferences working to stand in the way of the time we could be spending with God and each other. As a family, we’re constantly reestablishing boundaries to remain intentional about our relationships in all the chaos.
For example, during the season, my husband and I have a weekly date night, and commit to an hour daily of heartfelt conversation before bed. As a family, we spend at least 15 minutes together in the mornings and evenings. Some ways we like to do that are by having the kids hang out in bed with us, by brushing our teeth together, or watching a worship video on YouTube. We also eat dinner together outside the house one night a week. When things become too chaotic to stay on routine, we adjust. We shut down the noise, prioritize, and pull out our Boundaries book (more about it below)! We do all this to be the best versions of ourselves for each other, our family, and our assignments.
https://gph.is/g/ajmP6zx
There was a time when we felt obligated to all those activities, but that was a lose-lose situation. We quickly learned that no matter what we do, it will NEVER be enough. People have placed so many unfair expectations on us, and when those expectations aren’t met, they become angry, distant, and harsh.
I’ll leave you with two great resources that have helped me on this path of intentionality:
These are two books I’ll never forget! We’ve learned to protect our energy, establish reasonable boundaries and not allow people to pressure us into things we don’t want or feel led to do! Talk about growth, especially for me! The freedom is unreal and the only expectations I’m aiming to meet these days are my Father’s. That’s all that will really matter at the end of this lifetime anyway!
Dairy, like cow’s milk or yogurt, has been known to cause inflammation, gas and a myriad of other uncomfortable symptoms. Adjusting your diet doesn’t mean you have to compromise on flavor. With some planning and a little creativity, making the swap to dairy-free can be effortless.
Here are six alternatives (and a surprising treat!) that you can incorporate into your everyday life with your next trip to the grocery store!
Earth Balance butter:
I use this to cook pretty much everything — from breakfast to dessert! This butter substitute is a great alternative and super yummy! You can find it in a spread or sticks. We leave a stick out to soften for bread for the week and everyone enjoys it!
Daiya cheese slices and shredded cheese:
Like most kids, my kids love cheese! However, it typically does not end well for any of us when they indulge. I love using Daiya cheese to make grilled cheese sandwiches, mac & cheese, and with crackers for a snack. It’s made with pea protein, which is full of iron, and is easily digestible. I really like this cheese because it melts nicely and my kids love it, which is a win for me!
Almond milk:
We use almond milk for our cereal, baking and any recipes I use that require milk. I love the smooth taste, and it’s the only milk I’ve drank and not gagged since childhood! It’s especially delicious for dipping cookies into!
Vanilla oat milk creamer:
Several brands make their own variation of this creamer.So Delicious has one made with pea protein and cane sugar. It’s flavorful and smooth! I use it for coffee and in the mix for my French Toast (recipe coming soon).
So Delicious ice cream and ice cream sandwiches:
These are a great anytime treat. I even use the ice cream to make my homemade ice cream cake (recipe coming soon). I love that I can get the satisfaction of ice cream without the guilt, gas and eczema outbreak later!
And …
Oreos:
Shocking, I know, but Daddy and the kids love these cookies, and I was surprised to learn that Oreos are vegan! We use them as a snack, good behavior incentives, baking, and of course, with ice cream!
Making healthy food swaps doesn’t mean sacrificing flavor! There are so many alternatives to try beyond this list that your family might love. Plus, new vegan snacks and foods are becoming more popular than ever, so the options are endless. Be on the lookout for recipes, like my delicious French Toast and my highly requested homemade ice cream cake, both of which incorporate some of these alternatives.
One of the things I used to guilt myself into saying is “What would Jesus do?” — as if Jesus didn’t have any boundaries. I’d say to myself Oh, I have to do this… and this… and this… because Jesus would do it. This train of thought had me constantly pulling myself in so many directions that I ended up burnt out.
It wasn’t until I sat down with God and remembered that there must be order in place. “I have to focus on the order,” I went on to converse with God. “I have to seek You and see what it is that you’ve called me to do.” You see, there is a difference between your potential and your purpose. You have “the potential” to do an abundance of things, but are all those things your “purpose”? You have to ask the Father, “What is my purpose? What have you called me to do?”
See the difference between doing the good thing and the God thing. You can do a lot of amazing things and people can be touched by them, but then in doing all of that, you can still be out of God’s will for your life! This will cause you to be burnt out and miss moments that He has specifically for you because you’re out of line.
Over the years, I’ve learned to be more intentional with my purpose. My life can sometimes be a bit chaotic — my husband and I are always in the middle of NFL demands, philanthropy work, homeschooling, etc. It can feel like a constant tug-of-war. I have to sit down with God and allow Him to show me what He has planned for me. “What’s the potential, and what’s the purpose?” I ask Him.
If we maximize our purpose, we can then maximize our potential inside of that purpose.
Here are 3 steps I take to help me continue putting God first in my purpose:
1. Be intentional in learning more of His truths through His Word
With all we have going on, life gets extremely busy and chaotic, but it’s essential for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus first, and as my husband does the same, it provides so much freedom to be intentional with placing God at the center of our family, platform, and philanthropy work.
2. Constantly reevaluate my heart
When I surrendered my life to Christ, I began to realize that regardless of what happens in life, only one thing matters — I must live a life in service to Him. So although I wear many crowns, the crown of being the daughter of the highest King is the greatest one to wear and poilish daily. Doing so, allows His love and truth to overflow into all of the other areas of my life.
My husband and I are two imperfect people working our way to a perfect God. With both of us pursuing God faithfully and constantly reevaluating our hearts, it helps us to understand our marriage comes next, then our children, then football, then philanthropy work.
3. Spend intimate time in prayer
In prayer, I’m not always asking, but many times praising Him, repenting of my sins (those done both knowingly and unknowingly) and yielding everything over to Him. I know I’m a mess without Him, so I’m constantly trying to grow our relationship.
I always encourage individuals to understand that the only thing that will determine if we will spend eternity with our heavenly Father is if we keep Him at the center of it all. If I’m an excellent football wife, mom, or philanthropist but a crummy disciple of Jesus, then I’m living my life in vain. And being great at all of these other things will not guarantee my place inside the kingdom of God — only my relationship with him. Going to church on Sundays and doing good deeds does not secure me a spot in the kingdom or a relationship with Him.
Only intentionality, growth, and intimacy with Him in my purpose, and living a faithful life of boldness, truth, and service will count in the end!
Enjoy a space to connect, be empowered and educated to seek Jesus wholeheartedly, identify blind spots, seek growth, learn to love, forgive, laugh, cook amazing food, and understand that living the in the spotlight is not always roses & candy.
