The “confident, realistic, independent” me speaking:
2023… I honestly don’t have enough words inside my vocabulary to accurately convey all the emotions behind the beauty and ashes I experienced this year!
I gained so much knowledge about myself and the people around me. I navigated through the darkness and light of my life and the world—where there were extraordinary gains and gut-wrenching losses. Nevertheless, each encounter was accompanied by strength and faith-building lessons, self-affirmations, and elaborate strategies for managing and improving the situations around me!
Oftentimes, we journey year to year in hopes that the new year will be greater than the past, but I’ve learned that anytime your path consists of co-laborers (not many people don’t), there may be much inside your control but even more outside of it! So we can plan, dream, etc., but there are just no guarantees on what we’ll face and what the outcome will be!
As someone who can be identified as a control freak, I learned countless valuable lessons about the options I’d made priorities and priorities I’ve made options. I learned how and why I was always willing to diminish my light so that others may shine—yet they’d diminish my light, even more, to ensure that my level up wouldn’t exceed their expectations.
I gained knowledge and understanding of why I love and sacrifice the way I do and why I’m not for everyone. I learned who valued and benefited from both my strengths and weaknesses. Consistent growth in self-awareness and the awareness of others is one of the greatest life skills one can develop. Accessing these things reminded me of why everyone in my life is compartmentalized and why blind trust inside family, friendships, business partners, and countless other trusted sources should always be limited.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned is that there’s always a game going on inside the game and how to humbly accept it and unapologetically play the crap out of it, not needing anyone. Then, after accessing it all I’m forced to tap into the folder of faith that holds much more.
Spiritual voice: Yes, journeying through this past year had some fruitful moments, but I also was challenged at every turn to tap into my faith like never before!
I found that despite the overwhelming beauty or the complexity of the ashes, I was chosen! I was chosen for such a time as THIS! I was chosen to grant others the love of Christ even if they didn’t desire or deserve it. I was chosen to smile and find laughter in all things. I was chosen to encourage others even when I needed it most myself.
I was chosen to boldly combat the enemy in ways I never thought possible, and honestly, some days were so difficult I almost let him win! I was chosen to stand on the Truth when everything around me appeared to be the furthest from it. I was chosen to do an abundance of things to educate support & encourage myself and others, endure all things with love, and survive great suffering and tremendous loss.
And above all else, I was chosen to represent and reflect the values of the Lord Jesus Christ even when I didn’t desire to and I had created validated excuses not to.
Did I do it perfectly? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Did I struggle or fall victim to ungodly alternatives? A time or 2 or 3 or 10. But God is faithful, even when we are not! He’s a Father, redeemer, protector, provider, and an extraordinary model for how to live a life of purpose that allows Him to remain on the throne!
I can recall one day writing in my journal asking God, “Why does it always appear that I get punished for attempting to do the right thing at all costs?” Oftentimes when we think of being “chosen”, we only meditate on the beautiful moments (comfort & successes) and not the major adversity that comes along with it. But more often than not, being chosen leads to extreme opposition and hardship that we must overcome, and it’s impossible to overcome it without the Lord.
More than not, we assume that suffering is caused by the enemy or a form of punishment when we’re disobeying, but sometimes we’re just handpicked for suffering, not as a form of punishment, but rather, God’s preparing us for Himself!
When I stumbled upon some of God’s “chosen ones ” inside my Bible, I realized they accomplished remarkable things, but somehow it was frequently accompanied by significant pain, distress, injury, loss, and countless other unpleasant experiences.
As A. W. Tozer said, “It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply.”
As I reflect on 2023 and prepare to journey into 2024, I have a multitude of thoughts and emotions floating around. Sure, I have a list of breathtaking ambitious goals that I’d love to accomplish and my vision board could rock your world! And yes, 2024 is a new year with new possibilities and aspirations that I intend to maximize! But at the same time, I’m also fully aware that there are unresolved issues, ongoing fears and doubts, and undesirable tasks I cannot solve today nor leave behind in 2023—so they’ll have to journey with me into the next chapter.
Nevertheless, I am stronger, wiser, and more confident, than ever before, to navigate all to come expectedly and unexpectedly—the beauty of life and the ashes. And unlike the previous year, I rest in accepting and being aware that I’m not just called, but chosen!
Below are a few scriptures that were spoken to me as I reflected on what 2023 delivered and what 2024 may bring!
Prayers and Blessings,
- [ ] 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) — “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
- [ ] Micah 6:8— “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
- [ ] 1 Corinthians 13:1-3— “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (2) If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. (3) If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
- [ ] Matthew 22:14 (NIV)— “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”
- [ ] Esther 4:13-14 (NASB)— “Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, ‘Do not imagine that you in the king’s palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?’”
“Through those telling words, he reminded her she had been chosen to set her own interests aside, let go of her own ambitions, and face an enemy full-on.” – Dr. Tony Evans
My prayer is that the Lord will meet each of you exactly where you are and shape and mold you for Himself, regardless of what it may cost.
