As young children, it was easy to connect with our peers over something as simple as our favorite color or Disney character. But as we grow older, it can become harder to connect.
Navigating friendships has been a challenge for me. I’m a busy wife and mom, and between caring for my family, teaching homeschool, philanthropy work, and The F Word Blog, I have to be really intentional about the relationships I build and maintain with others.
I love my friends, and I consider them an extension of my family, but I’ve had to adjust my expectations. Sure, some people have one BFF that they do everything with, but I’ve come to realize that this isn’t always realistic! It’s important to learn that we can have something special and unique with each of our friends.
I’ve taken some time to share a few ways that friendships change and how to cope during these kinds of situations.
Here are six ways that friendships change and how to cope with those changes:
New Interests
As we open ourselves to new environments and meet new people, it’s only natural that our interests evolve. You may no longer be interested in the same books or movies you were as a kid. With nothing in common to talk about, it can be hard to keep a conversation going, but think about it: just like you’re getting into new things, your friends are, too. Sharing the new things that bring you interest still comes with opportunities to connect.
2. New Friends
Moving through different circles and jobs connect you to a new network of people. As you get used to being in a new setting, it’s normal to create bonds with people who have helped you along the way. It’s also normal, as you build these new relationships to maintain room for the friends you’ve had all along. As easy as it is to get caught up in the time we spend on building and maintaining the connections we create, it’s important to understand that we are constantly evolving, and we may grow closer or further away from certain people.
3. New Moves
Some of us may have had a childhood friend who moved to another city or state in the middle of the school year. Talk about devastating! This happens for adults, too! When a friend moves to another area, spending time or even keeping in touch becomes an afterthought. However, that’s no excuse to throw the whole friendship away. It just requires some creativity, and if the bond is important to you, you’ll find ways to keep the relationship strong.
4. Social Media
We’re all guilty of it: the mindless scrolling on Instagram or some other platform. Seeing the highlight reel of our friends’ lives makes us feel like we’re experiencing things with them. Social media may give us a sense of connection, but there’s nothing like the real thing. We’re all busy! But a quick text to check in on a close friend is always more meaningful than hitting that like button.
5. Starting a Family
Children require energy and time. As they grow up, the amount of activities increases and there’s even less time to spend taking a break—let alone seeing a friend. As parents, we have to make sure we’re taking care of our own needs, and that includes being intentional about the people we want to keep close in our circle.
6. Life
It happens to all of us – literally. Life can get in the way. You get a text or a missed call from a friend, make a (notoriously reliable) mental note to call them back, and then BOOM! A week has passed, and you realize that you completely forgot to get in touch with them. Things happen, and a good friend will be sure to understand that. A tip for times like this? Try to respond right away, even if your response is as simple as, “I’m super busy right now, but I’ll call you back when I can!” A little acknowledgment really goes a long way.
Our priorities shift as we grow older, and there are days where we have to make adjustments with our time. Naturally, our needs can take a backseat to our spouses and kids. But always remember that you are important, too. Yes, the relationships we have with our friends evolve, but there are ways to manage those changes and stay true to ourselves!
Practice being creative and intentional about maintaining and cultivating friendships. We are stronger and happier together!
Where have I been this season? I’ve been journeying through the past, re-evaluating the presence, and envisioning the future! I’ve been filling myself with healthy self-reflection, and it has changed my life and perspective in tremendous ways.
The end goal of reflecting is to ultimately be refreshed and reminded that you are here with a purpose and God’s plan for your life is a journey worth embracing fully, no matter how challenging. With that being said, as a way to encourage you, I want to share five ways that self-reflection is beneficial.
1. It Builds Confidence
When you make room to do deep self-reflecting, it allows you to better understand your strengths and weaknesses. This then leads to self-confidence. I know what I do really well and what I need to work on. It all leads to better handling situations as they come up.
2. It Develops Self-Awareness
Self-reflection allows you to look internally and develop better self-awareness. It helps you understand your emotions in a clearer way and how your response to situations affects the people around you. It also improves our decision-making when we need to gain control with how we respond emotionally.
3. It Helps You Conquer Your Fears
The first step toward conquering your fears is knowing what they are. Self-reflection challenges us to dig deep and get to the root of things. How you deal with these fears starts with you knowing yourself. Once you know yourself, you can better prepare for confronting a fear and in turn, care for yourself in the ways you need to.
4. It Helps You Embrace Your Purpose
Self-reflection allows you to maximize your purpose! Placing your focus on developing and knowing yourself causes you to be more purpose-driven with your actions. You become more intentional about what you do and how you do it when you understand why you are here and your part in God’s plan.
5. It Gives You a Clear Perspective
You gain a clearer perspective of your place in relation to the world around you when you take time to self-reflect. Once your perspective shifts, it makes you more grateful and appreciative of where you are in your life in all aspects. You begin to prioritize what’s really important to you and spend less time focusing on things that are pointless or would hinder your personal growth.
As you journey through life, careers, goals, relationships and all, I encourage you all to find some time throughout your day to self-reflect. Make it a point to continue learning from the past, being in the moment and enjoying the process before you!
If you’ve never attended a Saints game, you should really consider doing so. There’s nothing like a win inside the Superdome after you’ve been biting your nails, hanging on to strangers, and have felt like your heart’s stopped because you’re desperate for a win. When I attended my first college football game to cheer on my husband, I knew nothing about football, but over the years, I’ve learned to love the sport. It’s taught me so much about life.
In football and in life, you win some (Who Dat NATION), and you lose some, but each day and season presents new opportunities to strive, thrive, and grow! In football, losing was an opportunity for those players to learn what skills to develop for the next game. After each game, athletes review the film searching for ways to improve in the areas they made mistakes—while also working to strengthen the areas they succeeded.
This is what separates the winners from the losers.
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve had some victorious moments and some not so great ones too. As believers, it’s essential that despite what our scoreboard in life looks like, we don’t give up. Even when we are tackled by life, it’s crucial to keep getting back up. Be reminded that even if it appears that we’re losing, we win because God is still on the throne. Jesus has already conquered it all, and we’re always victorious when we’re resting in Him and His promises, even if it appears otherwise.
When I’m winning, sometimes I’m turnt! I feel accomplished! I do give God the glory,
but there have even been many times I’ve questioned, “why me”? On the other hand, as a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser, losses are always difficult for me.
I’m constantly attempting to work out my issues in this area because for one, I’m only perfectly imperfect. When I get out of my own head, I learn that God is pruning me, using me, and preparing me for Himself! Like my husband’s teammates, I study myself (film) and my opponent (the enemy), challenge myself, and ask God to stop me in my tracks when I’m running further away from Him (linebacker moves).
Surrendering to Christ doesn’t mean we get a perfect life in return. It means that we must learn how to pray fervently and press firmly into God in ways we couldn’t before knowing Him. The weapon may form, but it won’t prosper. It’s knowing that “all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose,” (Roman 8:28). This doesn’t mean all things will be good. It may not always look like we’re winning. However, in every situation, good or bad, all things work together for our good. God is always working on our behalf. We may not see that clearly in every situation, but trusting in Him is key! We will always come out triumphant! When we are connected in Christ, this is the true victory.
Almost two months ago, we received news that shattered our hearts into the tiniest pieces; “It’s Retinoblastoma.”
I’d never heard of this cancer, and it took me a couple of days to even learn how to pronounce it. Our youngest daughter, Carly-Faith, was recently diagnosed with Retinoblastoma, which affects the retina, usually as a tumor. It’s rare and typically affects young children, but no one can really prepare your heart to hear that your child has cancer.
As I listened to the doctor advise us on our best options and explain where this journey may lead, I felt weakened. This was a situation that could have easily caused us to lose trust in our Father and allow the enemy to fill us with doubt. So many questions flooded my mind. At that moment, God appeared swiftly and granted me the strength and endurance that I would have never seen myself having under these circumstances!
My husband and I immediately went to the Lord in prayer—praying for specific miracles. One of those miracles was for God to salvage her left eye. However, that wasn’t a part of His master plan. We had to rapidly move forward with enucleation, the removal of her left eye. It would’ve been easy to be swept away by our fear or our feelings…but God. Instead, He revealed to us ALL of the other miracles He was unfolding before our very eyes!
Before COVID-19 and statewide mandatory quarantines, we were scheduled to be back in New Orleans. Had we been in NOLA, the closest place for treatment was Houston! Thankfully, we were home in Nashville, where Vanderbilt Hospital is located. This was a huge blessing and meant we could immediately see a specialist. One of the top research doctors and surgeons for this particular cancer was assigned to us at that hospital.
Surgeons were able to do outpatient surgery on my daughter two days after diagnosis. After weeks of awaiting additional test results we received the news that No chemotherapy was needed because the cancer was removed in the nick of time! Also,it hadn’t spread to her brain or right eye, which was a concern when receiving the diagnosis. There were so many moments where God showed up and proved Himself strong. We were able to share God through prayer and encouraging words with every doctor, nurse, and staff member caring for us on the day of surgery.
Our community showed up for us! Usually, I attempted to be a strong friend and decline help on every level. However, during this time I was able to allow my pride to rest, my fear to bow, and embrace the love of God through His people. Clinging to His truths and promises blessed me with boldness, peace, and FAITH!
Carly-Faith has lost vision in one of her eyes, and that may present some life challenges. However, many people have no hindrance to their physical vision, yet they are spiritually blind, which leads to a road of destruction. It is my prayer that God continues to grace us with wisdom and endurance to boldly discipline our little champion of faith to have a clear vision of her creator. Her story is beautiful, displaying God’s faithfulness, and we’re grateful to have experienced it all with her! May she always have a visual acuity of exactly who God is and the calling he has on her life, and may she fully maximize every ounce of her potential and purpose for the Kingdom of God!
I know some of you may be facing some giants and feeling discouraged by your challenges or circumstances…please, stand firmly on God’s promises! I strongly encourage you to go before the Lord in unfiltered prayer. Understand that it’s ok to embrace your emotions and not suppress them. But also, believe that God is greater than it all! If there is any specific way I can faithfully cover you in prayer, my inbox is open!
Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream by David Platt is not for the faint-hearted. It is not only a riveting and extraordinary read but also far from conventional in terms of his beliefs surrounding his faith. Platt boldly challenges readers to sacrifice and leave behind all of their worldly possessions.
The very first chapter is titled ‘Is Jesus Worth Losing Everything?’ It’s a tough question to answer, but Platt pulls no punches. He encourages us to find the greatest thing to live for—the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Forsaking the American Dream
Platt mentions the Great Commission from Matthew 28, which pushes Christians to go out and make disciples of all nations in the name of the Holy Trinity.
We have all been called to evangelize the world for God. This undertaking is daunting but requires all of our efforts. By accepting the Great Commission, we must forsake the American Dream.
We are taught at an early age to gain as many earthly accolades as possible, and that the goal is to be rich and successful. But there’s a thin line between living for God and living for the world. It can be challenging to actually live how Jesus said we should.
Thankfully, we have excellent examples—the disciples.
The disciples abandoned their careers, family, and convenience to follow Jesus. They left certainty for uncertainty, safety for danger—all selfless actions to make sure the gospel advanced.
Pursuing a Sacrificial Life
David Platt calls us to stop placing our primary focus on living the American Dream, but instead, pursue living a life that is sacrificial by displaying more love and bringing more awareness to God and His kingdom.
The first time I read this book, I honestly didn’t love it — I was convicted. I never really assumed my faith had been rooted in the American Dream until I truly entered a relationship with Christ.
The second time, I loved it and it spoke to my heart.
On my third time reading it, I decided to take a different approach. I’ve been taking my time to get through the entire book, but it is incredibly fulfilling.
Each chapter has me reevaluating my heart, identifying my counterfeit gods, and implementing strategies to hold myself and our family accountable.
Focusing on Eternity
The cost of truly following Jesus is high. It requires being willing to let go of everything else.
Do you know what could be potentially standing in your way? As you read “Radical”, much will be exposed to you.
At the end of this book, David urges us to take the Radical Experiment, which is a one-year commitment that should be pursued seriously.
You’ll have to read the book to better understand, but the purpose is for Christians to spend their lives fulfilling God’s mission of exposing people to His love.
This requires us to come to the end of ourselves, and that can be challenging yet rewarding! Whatever dream you may see for your life pales in comparison to the plans that God has in store for you.
Building up treasures for eternity is far greater than building up temporary treasures here on earth. Make God’s plans your plans. His plans are far more fulfilling and ultimately the best for you.
Champions, like seeds, only gain strength when you bury them. – Matshona Dhliwayo
Finding true victory in the midst of adversity can be challenging. An individual must realize that despite how victorious they may potentially become in the world, true victory only arises when they champion their faith in the Lord. The world’s vision of success often does not align with how God views achievement. Demario was deemed unsuccessful, especially early in life, and despite coming up short many times, he always got up stronger and more determined.
His story is one of how to champion goals and also how to champion faith! His story is compelling, and his book Unsuccessful Champion is a quick read because you will feel like he is sitting down with you to share. Unsuccessful Champion was written to inspire anyone who has a dream and wants to be successful. We all have different callings in our lives and our paths are unique. Regardless of our journey, there is a champion inside of us, fighting to be the best at what we do.
Champions are founded in the relationships they have with God and their family. Each day, God calls us to live lives that set us apart for His glory. There is no end to what He has planned for us. There are times when what the world has to offer may seem appealing or glamorous but finding true victory and true riches comes from Christ. Regardless of how successful or unsuccessful Demario was at times, his fulfillment and true victory is always in Christ!
Let his story be an example to you—that though your beginning may be small, where you finish can be great.
Forget what people may have said about you or tried to convince you that you could not have. God can change any situation and make it better than our wildest dreams. I recommend this book to anyone who feels discouraged and needs to know that they are not alone. Your worth is not in what the world offers, but in the ultimate prize God has in store for you.
Enjoy a space to connect, be empowered and educated to seek Jesus wholeheartedly, identify blind spots, seek growth, learn to love, forgive, laugh, cook amazing food, and understand that living the in the spotlight is not always roses & candy.
